TK’s Blog
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A Beginner’s Guide To Checking On Your Strong Friend
Ever wonder how your strong friend is keeping it together when there is so much going on? Despite how tough things appear to be, they continue to be there for others. They’re optimistic. They bring smiles to everyone else’s face when they’re around. They know all the right things to say to help others feel better. You know your strong friend has their own battles, but you’re not exactly sure how to approach being there for them.
A Black Man’s Guide To Therapy . . . Just Do It
I should have begun therapy long before I ever did, but I grew up with the misguided belief it meant I was weak and couldn’t handle the rollercoaster of this life like a man should be able to. I was foolish. With the amount of weight I carried, there’s no wonder I eventually fell apart the way I did.
How To Save Yourself From Suffering
Every time it has ever felt like I didn’t have anything left, I fought with everything to prove otherwise. I have enough experience to know the power that lies within. I said to myself, I wish I had all of the answers to each of these tests. God quickly responded and said, “You do.”
I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore
The past several years felt like a waste and I didn’t want to lose any more — no more loss of people I love and no more lost time. I had to keep my foot on the gas 24/7. I didn’t realize it until later, but I was running away from loss. My therapist brought it up. My dad called it out. My mentor reminded me. I was so afraid of facing loss again that I packed my days in an effort to avoid it. When I found myself staring at it again, I hit a wall so hard that placed me in quicksand. The words escaped my lips yet again, “I don’t want to be here anymore.” It felt like I was drowning and I had no idea what to do next.
Don’t Wait To Plant The Seeds
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant one is right now.”
I have been sitting with this quote for the past week now, because it speaks to the growth process and the importance of this moment. We can spend a lot of time worrying about what we failed to do yesterday, but often need to remind ourselves of how much power exists in being present.
I Almost Gave Up, But . . .
You ever hear that you don’t know what’s hiding behind a smile? I can tell you . . . I hid a lot behind mine. It’s not a badge of honor. I just figured that is what I was supposed to do. Asking for help was a sign of weakness. I wish I would have known better a lot sooner.
I Prayed About It
The pain of wishing I was able to do more for everyone hasn’t gone away. I’ve just grown accustomed to the idea that this is the way things are — at least for now.
Another Day Might Be Too Long
I am not here to tell you everything you’re after comes to you immediately. Instant gratification is not what we’re after, but we can certainly change our lives for the better one day at at time.
You Don’t Have Time To Waste
Someone stated to me in a recent conversation that they believe I’m unwilling to take a break, because I’m afraid to lose something else. The statement caught me off guard, because there is truth to it. Life can be pretty unforgiving and I have been in a space where I wasn’t happy with the results. It’s not fun. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, I’m heavily invested in my growth though.
You Cannot Run Anymore. It’s Time To Answer The Call…
One promise I made to myself is to continue learning and this year has been full of lessons. At the top of the list is . . . life comes at you fast. I stumbled upon a masterclass in resilience and I continue to gain more insight on the topic every day. Although I cannot go as far as saying the lessons have been fun, it is abundantly clear to me the experiences serve a greater purpose. I have been unknowingly preparing for this moment my entire life.
Don’t Let The Pain Win
I woke up from the same nightmare I have been having for 2 years. My heart was beating rapidly and the darkness of the room covered all of the space around me. As much as I’d like to convince myself otherwise, there might not be such a thing as being completely healed. At least those are the cards I have been dealt.
I had no idea what depression and anxiety truly looked like until the events in my life brought a level of chaos to my doorsteps that was impossible to outrun. It felt abnormal. How could it happen? I worked on myself to prepare for the pain, but the beast was much larger than I anticipated.
Own The Room
I’ve had a lot of people believe in me for many different reasons. In my mind, I’ve disappointed a lot of them too. While I’ve had to learn to live with that, I have gotten more comfortable with the idea that I do not have to be perfect.
I Know Why I’m Here
When you’re going through difficult times, you’ll hear all kinds of proverbial phrases:
Trouble doesn’t last always.
There is a purpose in every storm.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
There is no testimony without a test.
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.
The list goes on…
INDEPENDENT, Do You Know What that Means?
My operations have historically been a bit different than most. There’s just something about not doing what the crowd does that suits me. For a period, I lost that and life humbled me. When I sit back to reflect, I am fully aware of all of the time I cannot get back and that drives me to aim higher. As the saying goes, the best way to predict your future is to create it. I am grateful to be creating from a much better place now.
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
With the way my life has begun to take shape, I have come to terms with the fact that what hurts you is also oftentimes what helps you. You might not be able to say this for every situation, however, what you often find is even the most painful experiences are meant to strengthen you. Growth doesn’t always feel good.
Stop Settling, Start Flying
The people you surround yourself with can drive you towards a brighter future or derail you completely. It is important to be intentional. I have mentioned it on many occasions, but I am fortunate to be connected to the people I call my friends. We may not always agree on the path, but the goal remains the same — keep making progress.