TK’s Blog
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Don’t Panic. 3 Things That Might Help You Regain Control When You Feel Overwhelmed
The first time I can recall having what I eventually learned was a panic attack; I felt disappointed in myself for not being in control. It was July of 2021, and everything I believed about myself was questioned. I checked my accounts and realized I lost more money than before. I needed to find a therapist, finalize an attorney, and I could feel something else was on the horizon. My life was not going as planned.
Your Life Isn’t Going To Be All Sunshine.
As much as we want everything to unfold perfectly, that’s never how it works. Your ability to accept this will determine how well you adapt when things go awry. Oftentimes, you can make it much harder on yourself than necessary, especially when you refuse to accept your role in the events that lead you to disarray.
The Crucial Role of Discipline in Your Journey
When confusion sets in, it's a signal—not a setback. It’s a prompt to push deeper into learning. How much do you know about the things that are crucial to your progress? Every moment of uncertainty is an opportunity to expand your knowledge.
A Black Man’s Guide To Therapy . . . Just Do It
I should have begun therapy long before I ever did, but I grew up with the misguided belief it meant I was weak and couldn’t handle the rollercoaster of this life like a man should be able to. I was foolish. With the amount of weight I carried, there’s no wonder I eventually fell apart the way I did.
I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore
The past several years felt like a waste and I didn’t want to lose any more — no more loss of people I love and no more lost time. I had to keep my foot on the gas 24/7. I didn’t realize it until later, but I was running away from loss. My therapist brought it up. My dad called it out. My mentor reminded me. I was so afraid of facing loss again that I packed my days in an effort to avoid it. When I found myself staring at it again, I hit a wall so hard that placed me in quicksand. The words escaped my lips yet again, “I don’t want to be here anymore.” It felt like I was drowning and I had no idea what to do next.
Don’t Wait To Plant The Seeds
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant one is right now.”
I have been sitting with this quote for the past week now, because it speaks to the growth process and the importance of this moment. We can spend a lot of time worrying about what we failed to do yesterday, but often need to remind ourselves of how much power exists in being present.
You Don’t Have All The Answers
You’re the one.
That’s what I’ve heard all of my life. You’re the one. Can you imagine how frustrating it is when everyone else says that and life is kicking your ass? That’s part of my story. I’m not sharing this to be a braggart or to boast. I’ve heard it over and again. Candidly, it’s one of the many reasons I hid myself from judgement. It can become extremely uncomfortable when others have high expectations of you
I Almost Gave Up, But . . .
You ever hear that you don’t know what’s hiding behind a smile? I can tell you . . . I hid a lot behind mine. It’s not a badge of honor. I just figured that is what I was supposed to do. Asking for help was a sign of weakness. I wish I would have known better a lot sooner.
Another Day Might Be Too Long
I am not here to tell you everything you’re after comes to you immediately. Instant gratification is not what we’re after, but we can certainly change our lives for the better one day at at time.
You Don’t Have Time To Waste
Someone stated to me in a recent conversation that they believe I’m unwilling to take a break, because I’m afraid to lose something else. The statement caught me off guard, because there is truth to it. Life can be pretty unforgiving and I have been in a space where I wasn’t happy with the results. It’s not fun. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, I’m heavily invested in my growth though.
You Cannot Run Anymore. It’s Time To Answer The Call…
One promise I made to myself is to continue learning and this year has been full of lessons. At the top of the list is . . . life comes at you fast. I stumbled upon a masterclass in resilience and I continue to gain more insight on the topic every day. Although I cannot go as far as saying the lessons have been fun, it is abundantly clear to me the experiences serve a greater purpose. I have been unknowingly preparing for this moment my entire life.
Don’t Let The Pain Win
I woke up from the same nightmare I have been having for 2 years. My heart was beating rapidly and the darkness of the room covered all of the space around me. As much as I’d like to convince myself otherwise, there might not be such a thing as being completely healed. At least those are the cards I have been dealt.
I had no idea what depression and anxiety truly looked like until the events in my life brought a level of chaos to my doorsteps that was impossible to outrun. It felt abnormal. How could it happen? I worked on myself to prepare for the pain, but the beast was much larger than I anticipated.
You Owe It To Yourself
The frequency in which I find myself in challenging and uncomfortable places these days is kind of wild. I made a promise to show up and life responded by putting me in a position to change everything. I am not writing this to say I have it all figured out. I don’t. I pledged to work on it every day though.
The Secret Is Out
This work is tough. To believe every day, to love every day, to learn every day is not for the feeble minded. It requires a strong mind and a huge heart. I might not be exactly where I want to be, but i am not close to where I was. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it. If it’s worth it, it’s not likely to be easy. I am a work in progress to say the least, but I am grateful. I know the work that needs to be done.
Own The Room
I’ve had a lot of people believe in me for many different reasons. In my mind, I’ve disappointed a lot of them too. While I’ve had to learn to live with that, I have gotten more comfortable with the idea that I do not have to be perfect.
I Know Why I’m Here
When you’re going through difficult times, you’ll hear all kinds of proverbial phrases:
Trouble doesn’t last always.
There is a purpose in every storm.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
There is no testimony without a test.
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.
The list goes on…
INDEPENDENT, Do You Know What that Means?
My operations have historically been a bit different than most. There’s just something about not doing what the crowd does that suits me. For a period, I lost that and life humbled me. When I sit back to reflect, I am fully aware of all of the time I cannot get back and that drives me to aim higher. As the saying goes, the best way to predict your future is to create it. I am grateful to be creating from a much better place now.
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
With the way my life has begun to take shape, I have come to terms with the fact that what hurts you is also oftentimes what helps you. You might not be able to say this for every situation, however, what you often find is even the most painful experiences are meant to strengthen you. Growth doesn’t always feel good.
Stop Settling, Start Flying
The people you surround yourself with can drive you towards a brighter future or derail you completely. It is important to be intentional. I have mentioned it on many occasions, but I am fortunate to be connected to the people I call my friends. We may not always agree on the path, but the goal remains the same — keep making progress.
Never Forget How Far You’ve Come . . . There’s More For You
Life can be chaotic and overwhelming at times. There may be moments where it feels like everything is falling apart. During these times, it can be challenging to see the bigger picture. Resilience is the ability to bounce back and maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity. Taking life step by step can provide a sense of control and calm during turbulent times.