TK’s Blog
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Don’t Panic. 3 Things That Might Help You Regain Control When You Feel Overwhelmed
The first time I can recall having what I eventually learned was a panic attack; I felt disappointed in myself for not being in control. It was July of 2021, and everything I believed about myself was questioned. I checked my accounts and realized I lost more money than before. I needed to find a therapist, finalize an attorney, and I could feel something else was on the horizon. My life was not going as planned.
Don’t Fight The Battle Alone: Why Prioritizing Your Mental Health Is Imperative
As the article suggests, “about 49,500 people took their own lives last year in the U.S., the highest number ever,” and that should be an alarming statistic. That is more than 135 people per day, which equates to nearly 6 people per hour or ~1 person every 10 minutes
A Black Man’s Guide To Therapy . . . Just Do It
I should have begun therapy long before I ever did, but I grew up with the misguided belief it meant I was weak and couldn’t handle the rollercoaster of this life like a man should be able to. I was foolish. With the amount of weight I carried, there’s no wonder I eventually fell apart the way I did.
I Prayed About It
The pain of wishing I was able to do more for everyone hasn’t gone away. I’ve just grown accustomed to the idea that this is the way things are — at least for now.
Don’t Let The Pain Win
I woke up from the same nightmare I have been having for 2 years. My heart was beating rapidly and the darkness of the room covered all of the space around me. As much as I’d like to convince myself otherwise, there might not be such a thing as being completely healed. At least those are the cards I have been dealt.
I had no idea what depression and anxiety truly looked like until the events in my life brought a level of chaos to my doorsteps that was impossible to outrun. It felt abnormal. How could it happen? I worked on myself to prepare for the pain, but the beast was much larger than I anticipated.
Tomorrow is Going to Be Better
This is hard. I’m still processing everything that happened and the one thing I know to do is to continue documenting the journey. I don’t want people to feel what my brothers felt. I don’t want people to feel what I felt. All of the losses are part of the trauma and if we don’t intentionally address it consistently, we are setting ourselves up for potentially even bigger losses — and that includes losing ourselves.
Never Forget How Far You’ve Come . . . There’s More For You
Life can be chaotic and overwhelming at times. There may be moments where it feels like everything is falling apart. During these times, it can be challenging to see the bigger picture. Resilience is the ability to bounce back and maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity. Taking life step by step can provide a sense of control and calm during turbulent times.
It’s Too Much. What Happens if I Quit?
It’s too much.
I was on fire all of the time. It did not matter what the situation was. Whether I was sitting on the couch, working out or attempting to sleep, my body felt like an inferno. My legs would shake uncontrollably as if I was experiencing spasms. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I told myself that for a long time. I used to have nightmares of an untimely passing. Growing up in the environment I did made it feel likely. After feeling my whole life that I wouldn’t be here too long, I became overwhelmed with that feeling over the last two years.
Don’t Worry About Me… I’ll Be Gone Soon
What I keep reminding myself is that we cannot choose the way pain comes into our lives. We can only choose how we respond to that pain. I know what my plan is, but I have no idea what life is going to throw at our family next.
We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it.
The reality about life is at the opposite end of it is death. We must all face it at some point.
I Lost My Brothers Then Lost Myself. Where Do We Go From Here?
Losing my brothers broke my heart. I did my best to hold it together, but things never seemed to slow down for me. They still haven’t. The proverbial advice one would share here is that sometimes things have to fall apart in order for you to rebuild them to how they are supposed to be. From where I stand, it is the only explanation I can provide for the last few years of my life. There’s no solace there. It’s just life or the things that are left of the life I planned for.