TK’s Blog
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Don’t Fight The Battle Alone: Why Prioritizing Your Mental Health Is Imperative
As the article suggests, “about 49,500 people took their own lives last year in the U.S., the highest number ever,” and that should be an alarming statistic. That is more than 135 people per day, which equates to nearly 6 people per hour or ~1 person every 10 minutes
I Prayed About It
The pain of wishing I was able to do more for everyone hasn’t gone away. I’ve just grown accustomed to the idea that this is the way things are — at least for now.
Somebody Loves You
I spent a lot of time being upset with God about all of this. I spent a lot of time being upset with myself. Birthdays, holidays, the days my brothers passed etc. all bring emotions to the surface that I’m never sure how I’m going to handle.
Own The Room
I’ve had a lot of people believe in me for many different reasons. In my mind, I’ve disappointed a lot of them too. While I’ve had to learn to live with that, I have gotten more comfortable with the idea that I do not have to be perfect.
Tomorrow is Going to Be Better
This is hard. I’m still processing everything that happened and the one thing I know to do is to continue documenting the journey. I don’t want people to feel what my brothers felt. I don’t want people to feel what I felt. All of the losses are part of the trauma and if we don’t intentionally address it consistently, we are setting ourselves up for potentially even bigger losses — and that includes losing ourselves.
It’s Too Much. What Happens if I Quit?
It’s too much.
I was on fire all of the time. It did not matter what the situation was. Whether I was sitting on the couch, working out or attempting to sleep, my body felt like an inferno. My legs would shake uncontrollably as if I was experiencing spasms. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I told myself that for a long time. I used to have nightmares of an untimely passing. Growing up in the environment I did made it feel likely. After feeling my whole life that I wouldn’t be here too long, I became overwhelmed with that feeling over the last two years.
Don’t Worry About Me… I’ll Be Gone Soon
What I keep reminding myself is that we cannot choose the way pain comes into our lives. We can only choose how we respond to that pain. I know what my plan is, but I have no idea what life is going to throw at our family next.
We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it.
The reality about life is at the opposite end of it is death. We must all face it at some point.