Fake It Until You Break It
I walked into the 3rd grade classroom of Ms. Thornton and she had it written in big bold letters, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” As a child, I understood the message on a surface level, but obviously not the way I do now.
One of the mistakes I made in my journey was falling victim to complacency. I allowed my mind to run idly and felt sorry for myself for far too long. I thought I should have had more from the work I already put in. When you add contentment to the changes that have occurred in my life over the last few years, I was simply not prepared to deal with the consequences of miscues, wrong turns or the trauma I avoided. By the time I truly understood the impact, I found myself playing catch up and attempting to save my world while trying to grieve, which is not a friendly combination.
I became frequently overwhelmed, because I did not have the proper systems in place to cope or to keep building from where I stood. I faked the smiles. I faked being okay. I faked keeping my composure, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. Fake it until you make it. In this case, it turned out to be fake it until you break it or better yet, fake it until it breaks you.
Although I did a pretty decent job of building rapidly—re-launched my website, made a course, built an app, wrote an e-book, made several moves in my career and wrote another full length book entitled It’s Gonna Hurt, But It Won’t Kill You — I cannot get the time back that I unconsciously let pass by. I stopped investing in myself, because I let certain things not working out the way I planned to kill my confidence. I failed myself. I allowed pain to steal my joy. I failed those I love most. I refuse to let that be my story.
If I can’t do anything else for you, let my journey be the experience you need to remain inspired to fulfill your purpose.
Here are a few items to remember:
1) Keep working on your mind. The world keeps moving regardless of what your problems are, so don’t allow yourself to focus on the pain for too long or you’ll extend the suffering. We rarely get the opportunity to choose the way pain comes into our lives, but we are fortunate to have the opportunity to choose how we respond.
2) Time is our most valuable asset. In exchange for our time, we receive love. We receive money. We create memories. You don’t get those days, months or years back. Focus. Be disciplined. Be different.
3) Be present. You’ve likely seen me say this countless times, but I cannot reiterate it enough. You can only operate from where you are. This is your moment. This is THE moment. Keep building. Keep honoring yourself and the daily work necessary to be your best.
4) Build mutually beneficial relationships and utilize your network. My problem was I wouldn’t ask for help, because I felt like people expected me to know. I wouldn’t ask, because I felt like I should know. I sought to be resourceful, which works well, but you can often save yourself a ton of time by reaching out to mentors and/or people who care about you.
5) Screw the image. Be genuine. Honor your truth.
In James Clear’s best-selling book, Atomic Habits, he shares a powerful message which states, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” With the proper systems in place, you can reshape your entire life. It won’t always be easy, but I promise it’ll be worth it.
Lastly, remember . . . It’s gonna hurt, but it won’t kill you.
-TK
